Friends I’m so thankful for the amount of love and support you have all shown me over the last few months. I made it through number four and am at home recovering. It will be another 6 weeks before I can raise my left arm or drive. Please pray as we adjust and work hard to recover. It has been a roller coaster ride for us over here. What started out as preparing for the fact that I was going going to get my first body piercing AKA G-tube, led to three more surgeries on my heart. YEP THREE MORE!!! It was crazy, unexpected, and a total shock. Not at all to the Lord though. I was exactly where he wanted me and I needed to trust that he would use every ounce of this crazy tidal wave we were riding for his glory. I’m often giddy at the ways he shows me he is. I endured two failed surgeries, 4 paddle shocks to the heart, awful reactions to new meds, painful incisions, and things too embarrassing to discuss on the blog. It wasn’t all roses and rainbows and I would have given anything not to endure it. However I experienced Such joy in having my wonderful Husband by my side, he really is honoring his vows we said at 22 in sickness and in health, sweet friends giving of their time to help step in so my husband could work, people bringing meals, flowers,cards, gifts, caring for our kids, sweet calls from far away family members, and beautiful conversations with nurses about Jesus. Apparently when I come out of anesthesia all my inhibitions go out the window and I become super concerned with every stranger I encounter and them having a relationship with Jesus. Honestly this is where I saw Jesus the most. So many great nurses and hospital staff and opportunities to share how the Lord has worked through our story. This really is what it’s all about right? I long to be fully recovered and have more independence and I’m hopeful those days will come soon. As much as I long for those days I’m praying for more opportunities for the Lord to use me as he sees fit. Crazy? nope. Refusing to acknowledge we have an amazing creator who was persecuted for our sins and took on the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf now thats CRAZY. In the mean time I will focus on how incredible it is that the Lord gave me the strength I needed to endure all of this, how I have come out so much more stronger and appreciative. It would have been so easy to let all of this defeat me, to drag me down, to sit in anger, disappointment etc. If I would have chosen that I would have missed out on so much. None of it is meaningless. It ALL has purpose. I would have missed so much. What is your go to when your pressed in at every angle? Life is so full of hardships if you haven’t experienced any they will be coming. The bible promises it. When difficult times come into our lives and we find ourselves unable to comprehend or to understand, the enemy is quick to throw doubts and questions into our minds. We find ourselves questioning God's goodness and God's wisdom in allowing these things to happen. We may even be bitter and angry with God for allowing this to happen to us and wonder if He really understands. But God's word confidently reminds us that God does understand. Things do not just happen by accident to the Christian with no meaning or no purpose. God is in control. In Romans 8 Paul reminds us no one or nothing can separate us from God's love. Even in the most difficult of circumstances. I hope that whatever hard thing you are facing, whatever is pressing in on you that you can draw encouragement from these words. God is for you.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Well tomorrow is the day. Surgery will be at 7:30a.m.. Not gonna lie I'm really going into this one kicking and screaming. I just feel tired and don't have it in me to go through it all over again. For whatever reason this is what I'm suppose to do. It's hard to understand why a fourth time. Why another surgery? I trust the Lord and know this has purpose but I really feel like he is putting that to the test. I feel like we have tried to trust well but right now we are being pressed in at every angle. It is going to take a lot of trust in the doctors to get this surgery right and to trust that this is it, and it's going to take a lot of trust to send my boy on a plane this week to Japan. Please will you once again pray for us.