Counting Our Blessings

Counting Our Blessings

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Make Us A Vessel Lord

I’am filled with such encouragement this morning.  Our service at church was so beautiful and spoke straight to my heart. We had a reading service on 1 Peter.  Both the reading and the worship was beautiful.  I kept imagining myself in one of the towns in a crowd of people hearing Peter speak these words to me.  I kept soaking up every word and was hungry for more. It has been an emotional week for us.  We discovered that Noah is already starting to show some forms of muscle weakness.  It is not very pronounced, and we will find out more details when we see a Neurologist on January 12th.  Still it hit me pretty hard as I thought about my son having to face the same challenges I have struggled to accept for myself.  My heart aches for him and I wish I could take it all away.  Yet I was reminded today how much the Lord works in the Hard.  How he desires to sharpen us, to use us, to bring Glory to his name in the most beautiful ways. 1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.  I long to see his glory revealed in amazing ways.  We have several appointments coming up for our whole family.  Noah has a stress test tomorrow at UCLA and then another heart cath and nuerology apt. next week. Hannah has Cardiology apts. as do I. I don’t want to be surprised by what lies ahead for us.  I want to take every single opportunity I can to use it for the Lord.  This year I want more than anything for our family to be a vessel in the hard.  This doesn’t mean that we wont struggle with worry, with joy, with trust.  It just means that we surrender to Christ, we don’t waste our suffering, and we cling to the one who is everlasting instead of the temporal things of the world. What things are you clinging to this year? What are you putting your hope in?

Here are some lyrics to a song we sang this morning that cause my heart to want to burst.  I literally can not sit still with this song.  I apologize to those around me this morning who probably wondered if I was having some kind of seizure. It is often hard at times for me to keep my composure when my heart is so into worship. Thankful for an incredible worship team and for the work that gets put into choosing songs that correlate to the message.  I hope you are just as encouraged by it.  Please keep our family in your prayers as we head into a busy month of doctor apts.  As always we are thankful for each of you.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Update on the Lietzau's

Our family started back to school and are slowly settling back into our routines. When school started we were in the middle of a big move.  We sold our home of ten years and decided to relocate to LaMirada.  This was a difficult move for us because we loved our home so much.  We had done so much work on that home and had built so many wonderful memories.  We prayed for a long time about moving and whether or not it was the right decision for our family.  The timing was never right and so we kept putting it off.  Our desire was to be closer to friends and our church community who had a desire to help come along side our family.  My disease has slowly kept progressing over the last few years and we know it will continue.  With several flights of stairs our home was no longer allowing me to enjoy our patio or the outdoors and I would often be isolated to the bedroom which was a constant reminder of my disability. We decided it was time to step out in faith and make the move. It was so hard to say goodbye to our home but God has really made it known in some beautiful ways that this was the right move for us.  When we approached our realtor and close friend about moving he recommended we sell our home first so that we were not contingent when we went to make an offer on a house.  A few weeks later the Lord answered our first prayer and provided a wonderful fully furnished house for us to stay in.  As if that wasn’t great enough it also happened to be on the best street, with many friends from church, and wonderful neighbors who have blessed us richly and welcomed us into this wonderful community.  On top of that our home sold in three days and we were able to get our asking price.  Since being in La Mirada our kids have played outside every day with friends, riding bikes etc.  Many have lessened the load already by taking our kids to classes, offering to pick things up at the store, and have come to sit and visit.  We feel so blessed and are confident that God will reveal our future home here in La Mirada in his perfect time.  We very much covet your prayers.

Noah’s health seems to be doing very well.  I can’t tell you how much joy it has brought me to see him out riding bikes with his buddies.  I don’t take those things for granted because I realize how fast that could be taken from him.  We just celebrate today and thank the Lord each day for sustainig him.  We go back to UCLA next month for a check up.

Hannah gave us a little scare a week ago.  She was complaining of her head hurting and fainted on the way to the couch.  We took her to CHOC and everything checked out ok.  After wearing a holter monitored it revealed that she is having some skipped beats so they will keep monitoring her and she goes back for more testing next month.

As for myself my body continues to get weaker.  Some areas more than others.  My swallowing muscles are getting weaker making it more difficult to swallow and get down food.  We are praying I can be dilligent in making an effort to do the things I need to do to help in this area.  The next option for this is to go to a feeding tube and I would really like to push this off for as long as I can.  Each step is a difficult one.  I’m learning to grieve well and some days are harder than others.  I want to walk this road with Joy and not miss a single second of what the Lord has for me in this.  The other night I sat and watched this sweet boy from church laugh and play with my daughter with such joy oozing from his body.  This sweet boy wears a prostetic on his leg, and on his hands he is missing several fingers.  His balance is off, he has difficulting standing without rocking to hold his balance and falls constantly.  I often can relate to him in so many ways.  This boy brought tears to my eyes though as I sat and watched him play.  Everytime he would fall he would get back up, smile and just keeping having fun. He never seemed bothered by it for one moment.  He encourages my heart.  So often I can get so frustrated with every fall and every hard step, or not being able to keep up.  He doesn’t even think about the difficulty,  he gets himself back up, dusts himself off and enjoys life to the fullest.  May we all be so determined and so full of joy like this boy.

I feel so honored that you all still pray for our family so faithfully.  I hope you know we are so grateful for each one of you.

Thursday, July 23, 2015


I apologize for being so late on this update. It has been a CRAZY week. Not only did we have Noah's big Cath procedure, we had to go back to UCLA on Wednesday for a stress test, we put our house up for sale, and made an offer on a house all in the same week and it's only Thursday. This momma is T.I.R.E.D tired.

Noah's heart Cath went great. Their were no issues and Noah did great. His numbers have increased but are still in the lower normal range. The doctors feel like he can remain inactive for now. They will continue to see him frequently and monitor his symptoms. Because of the increase they would like to do another heart Cath in six months instead of 10-12 like normal. Over all we are so pleased with the outcome.  We wish his numbers would have improved but are thankful he is allowed more time.  Please continue to pray for Noah that he would remain strong and that his numbers would improve.

Why are we putting our house up for sale?  We have thought about moving for the last couple of years but the timing has not been right. Because of the type of progressing disease that I have we know that we will need a house that fits those needs as well as long term care.  We have loved our home and have put a lot of work into it however it saddens me not to be able to sit in my patio because of the number of stairs. We desire to live close to our church community and friends who can help shoulder the Load as things progress and become more difficult. We are praying that God would provide the perfect home for our families needs.

Thank you for continuing to walk along side of us and continually lifting us up in prayer. This morning I was so encouraged by the following passage and it was just another reminder to me that God is in the hardness of our stories and he is doing his glorious work. I hope it encourages you as well.

There are many black dots and black spots in our lives, and we cannot understand why they are there or why God permitted them to come. But if we let God come into our lives, and adjust the dots in the proper way, and draw the lines He wants, and separate this from that, and put in the rests at the proper places; out of the black dots and spots in our lives He will make a glorious harmony. Let us not hinder Him in this glorious work! —C. H. P.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Prayers Please

Dear Friends,

This Monday July 20th at 8:00a.m. Noah will be having his heart Cath Procedure at UCLA.  This is where they put him out and take a good look at his heart.  Back in September when they did this same test we got some AMAZING results.  We were stunned that the doctors told us his pressures were in the normal range.  This is when after consulting with the team we made the decision to make him inactive on the transplant list.  We have no idea why his numbers had increased.  The doctors think the medications have been helping but I give all the credit to our God.  We have been so thankful for this gift of time that has allowed us to have the freedoms to vacation and not be worried that at any moment we could get a call and onto the hospital for Transplant.  If his numbers have declined he will need to be active on the transplant list once again.  We want more than anything to avoid that step.  We would love more than anything for him to have more time, to be able to be a kid, to not have hospital stays, and meds that will hurt his body.  Please pray that the doctors would be pleased at his pressures and that his story would be one that points and gives credit to the Lord.  Pray that we would trust the Lord in whatever the outcome is for Noah. I have had an upset stomache all week and anxiety.  I thought I was doing ok until a few days ago. Pray that we would surrender our wants and desires and trust in God’s perfect plan for Noah.  I know I say this everytime but thank you for continuing to follow our journey and for your constant prayers.  I ran into a few people over the past few weeks that have told me that their kids pray for Noah every night and it brought such joy in my heart.  I pray that they would continue to see their prayers answered.

After waiting three years Noah finaly got to go to Hume Lake Camp this summer.  We all had a wonderful time and we felt so blessed to be up there.  This journey has caused me to not take certain things for granted.  I tried to soak in every moment realizing that it could be taken away from us again.  Thankful to the Lord for allowing us to enjoy moments like these and to create many wonderful memories to hold in our hearts. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


This Saturday will be three years to the day that we were told that our boy had Cardiomyopathy and would need a transplant.  It has and continues to be a journey filled with fear, faith, joy, tears, and so many more emotions.  We have seen God do incredible things.  The fact that Noah is still stable, doing well, and has not had a transplant is a huge gift that we don’t ever want to take for granted.  I know people are often confused by that statement given that all of us prayed for a heart transplant for so long.  Transplant is a wonderful life saving option but it is only an option for so long.  Your body will keep trying to reject the new heart because it recognizes that it is a foreign object and not your own.  The lifespan of a heart varies and it is common to need multiple heart transplants.  The anti-rejection meds they give you wreck havoc on your body causing many more diseases and possibilities for other transplants like kidney, and liver.  There are multiple doctor appointments and hospital stays.  Don’t misunderstand me we will endure all of this if it means our son gets a chance to live.  However we are so grateful that God has given him more time. More time to be a kid.  More time to build memories and travel as a family. Please pray with us that God would continue to keep Noah stable. We don’t know how long he can maintain being stable.  We do know and understand however that we are not in control.  God can still choose to heal his heart, he can choose to take this away completely, he can also choose to make him active on the transplant list again, or even bring him home.  We are not in control so we trust the one that is.  Noah is so excited to go to camp this year.  Something he has missed out on for three years.  After camp though he will have a heart Cath that will check the pressures in his heart.  This is an important test.  If his numbers are good he will remain inactive.  If they have changed than he will need to be put back on the list and face the possibility of transplant.  Being put back on the list will put an end to our vacations and will mean we are bound to our phones, holding our breathe when every call comes in.  It has been incredible to have had a break from that for the last 9 months.

While Noah has remained stable, my disease has unfortunately kept progressing. We recently got the opportunity to go back east with my family for a fun filled educational trip.  We visited DC, Williamsburg, and the boys visited NY.  This trip was wonderful being with my family and I wouldn't trade it for the world, I was immensely grateful for it  but it was hard emotionally.  My disease was smack in my face.  I spent more time in my wheel chair than I ever had, I struggled to get into shuttles, subways, and bathrooms without assistance.  I was unable to participate in some things because of stairs etc.  It is a daily struggle for me both physically and mentally.  I absolutely HATE this disease. I HATE that me and my son share it.  I HATE that he may one day have the same physical struggles as me.  I want more than anything to feel strong and not have to rely on anyone or anything for that matter.  I know that statement may come across harsh but when you struggle to just walk, breathe, and swallow normally it will makes sense.  I HATE seeing it continue to progress and I often worry about what else I will have to give up.  I spend my moments wishing for the days when walking was so much easier and feeling sympathy for those who can’t walk at all. Trying not to feel sorry for myself but at the same time allowing myself to grieve the things that I’am losing. All the while Trusting and knowing that God is doing his work and that it’s all so that the works of God can be displayed.  It’s a daily surrender for me.  

When I sit and think about this journey over the last 3 or four years and the many blessings that have come with the hard,  I truly am grateful.  Grateful for the opportunities to see God at work,  for the strangers we have met who are now dear friends, for the answered prayers, and for all of you who have walked with us so faithfully.  Thank you so very much.  We ask for your continued prayers as we seek to live a life that Glorifies the Lord.

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Hard Goodbye

On my last post I mentioned a beautiful Woman Kara Tippets.  She is the author of The Hardest Peace and writes on a blog called Mundane Faithfulness.  This past Sunday she has gone to be with the Lord. Kara had stage 4 breast cancer that had spread throughout her entire body. She fought a long and hard battle and never wasted a single second of her cancer or an opportunity to share what Christ was doing in the midst of her suffering.  I looked forward to reading her blog posts on a daily basis and was always so surprised that she had the strength and the emotional capacity to write.  Kara wouldn't have it any other way.  She was determined to fight through her battle and to bring others along.  This woman has impacted my life so much and I know hundreds of others.  While I'm sad that she doesn't get to enjoy anymore time hugging her husband, kiddos, and many friends who held her hand through this journey.  I smile knowing that Kara is free from pain and suffering and in the arms of her precious Savior. Kara was kingdom focused living a life with life after death in mind.  Oh how I long for that to be my story. Please keep this dear family in your prayers.  I pray that Kara's story would have a lasting impact on her children and steer them on to share with others how their mom  lived and loved well for the glory of God.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Longing to suffer well

I again can not express enough how much your comments and support have lifted me up.  These past two weeks have been rough and busy.  In the midst of some overwhelming news about my disease I was matron of honor in a dear sisters wedding.

It was emotional as she closed one chapter and began a new one.  My dear friend is a mother of five who lost her husband a year ago to Luekemia.  During my sweet friends vows she told her new husband that he was not her plan B.  Oh how I loved that.  God is sovereign over all things and my dear friend knows this well.  She knows that this was always God's plan.  Knowing God is working out his plan through this awful disease is the only thing that helps me walk through it.  This latest step in the process of my MD has brought on a lot of fear.  Hearing doctors say things like ventilators and breathing machines causes me to tremble.  I hate that I allow the unknown to rob my joy and stricken me with unnecessary fear.  I HATE that!!  I don't want to waste a second on this disease.  I want to use every ounce of it for God's Glory.  I follow a blog of this amazing gal Kara Tippet who is suffering from stage 4 brain cancer and is on hospice.  She is the Author of the incredible book I have talked about before called " The Hardest Peace".  If you have not read this book I highly recommend it.  Kara is not wasting one second of her disease.  She doesn't enjoy the pain and wants as much time with her kids that God would allow but she suffers well.  She inspires me to not take anything for granted and to not waste this disease but to live my life for the Lord.  My desire is to suffer well like Kara. My desire is to make Jesus known in all he has me do.  Please pray that I would not let fear overtake me.  Pray that God would be glorified through all of my suffering.