(warning this is a long one)
First off I want to give big hugs and thanks to everyone for all your prayers. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. We are tired but super thankful.
A few weeks ago Noah called me from school to tell me that he was having chest pains. This is not unusual for Noah to have occasional chest pains, however these were different. They were significantly painful and instead of only lasting a minute, they lasted for over an hour. When I went to pick him up he was clenching his chest and very uncomfortable. I called Jason and we made the decision to take him to CHOC ER. At CHOC they did an EKG, chest-xray, and labs. Besides Noah’s scary EKG that he’s had since he was nine(it looks like he’s having a heart attack), everything checked out fine and we were sent home. Five days later he had a follow up with his pulmonologist(lung doctor). This doctor was following up on a recent sleep study he had. She wanted to run some labs and also check his iron levels. We went last Monday and on Thursday she called me very concerned about his labs. His BNP(which is used to check for heart failure) had more than doubled in a week and she told us that we needed to see his cardiologist right away. Since it was after hours when I got this call I left messages for both UCLA and his main cardiologist out of CHOC. His main cardiologist Dr. Chang texted me and asked me to come by in the morning. When we saw Dr. Chang on Friday morning he did EKG, and Echo. He said his EKG was even worse than before. He wanted us to go get labs drawn. He talked with the team at UCLA and if Noah’s numbers from the labs were elevated they wanted him admitted to be able to see what was going on and available to run any further tests. Well those numbers were elevated and Friday night we were admitted. They did labs every 4-6 hours and the numbers went up and then stayed the same. Noah looked great the whole time, his spirits were fine and they were all confused. He had a few episodes of chest pain that lasted only minutes and nothing seemed to show up that would explain why. There are different opinions within all the doctors as to why he has chest pains and why the numbers go up without any other signs of heart failure. They eventually let him go home Sunday and will continue to follow up in a few weeks.
We don’t have answers which can be frustrating. We just know he still has Restrictive cardiomyopathy,unexplained chest pains, a scary EKG, elevated BNP and troponin levels,he does not need to go back on the list, and his pressures look good. I spent the whole weekend just angry and frustrated. Noah was trying to celebrate his birthday with friends, we were going to celebrate with family, we were going to pick up our new kitchen table, and it was hard on us to be at UCLA. I was embarrassed that we once again had drama in our lives. I was having a pity party to say the least. Monday I had to repent. I had a long talk with the Lord. I was having the worst attitude. I was not having a heart of gratitude. I was not showing patience. I was not appreciative of all they were doing to care for my son.
We were on the same floor of the hospital that we visited so many others kids who were there in heart failure waiting for a heart. We were at the same hospital that my dear friend kissed her husband and said goodbye to for the last time. I had so much to be thankful for Yet I was concentrating on how much I thought this was negatively effecting my life. I couldn't see past self. This is such an emotional process. I’m so grateful for God’s word though. Just this last week we were studying Colossians 3:12-17(The Put on Chapter)12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him..
In the last chapter Paul was addressing Christians and telling them to Put off their old self and in this Chapter he was telling us what to put on. It would be so easy for me to stay in my pity party and look to myself if I wasn’t in God’s word. God’s word is transforming and this particular passage reminded me how important it is to be thankful and why. I have been chosen by God. SERIOUSLY how cool is that? Friends we have been chosen. It is because of what God has done for us through Christ that we are able to reflect these spiritual attributes that he asks us to put on. Christians are to be characterized by an attitude of gratitude about everything. Yes even spending a whole weekend in the hospital with your son. Why? Because we know that we do not deserve anything. Everything comes to us as a gift of God's love. Verse 17 "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." I’m so thankful to have so many people in my life that reflect the qualities in this passage. That help bear one another’s burdens. That spur me on and encourage me daily.
We are giving Noah up to the Lord daily, praying that God will continue to work in his life both physically and spiritually. We know that their is beautiful purpose in this and none of it is wasted. Thank you once again for your continued support in our lives. What a blessing you all are to us.
