As we approach Thanksgiving I wanted to write about some of the ways my heart is overflowing with thankfulness. The first being how grateful I'am at the ways God shows me he is near. The ways he encourages my heart to keep going especially on the days I need it the most. This year has been rough. It has been emotionally and physically taxing in so many ways. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. God is so gracious at showing up when I need an extra burst of encouragement. He does this through his word often and he also uses his people. I can’t tell you how often I will get an email, text, or private message from somebody edifying the work of the Holy Spirit. It is always exactly when I needed it the most and It is often about how they see God using my situation to bring them encouragement. I know this is not of my doing and so it gives me encouragement to know that the Lord is using it for his glory. I have said it before and I will continue to say it until the Lord chooses to take me home. My deepest desire in my life is to be a vessel for him. When he reminds me of the ways he is allowing me to be that vessel, it gives me the hope I need to keep persevering. To keep fighting the battle.
Today I was asked to contribute to an Article being written on Disability and Parenting. I was asked if I had any advice to moms who are parenting while having a physical or chronic disability. As I sat and thought about the question I was again reminded of God’s goodness in using his people to encourage my heart. For a long time I felt this guilt for not being able to do the physical things I wanted to do with my children because of my disability. I would often think about that loss having a negative impact on them. I was reminded by a few friends who have pointed out to me the beautiful impact they have seen my disability having on my children. They said it’s so encouraging to see your teenage boys love on their mother and show such tenderness. The ways they care for you. How they hop up in your wheel chair just to be close to you. How they help you in the car, put your hair in a pony tail, put on your shoes. How all your children think about your needs in the way they make sure you have food most times before their own. How they have such compassion for others who have physical limitations because they understand deeper than most kids. They aren't afraid to enter into the hard because they know what hard looks like. It really caused me to look at things differently, instead of looking at ways I thought they would negatively be impacted it made my heart grateful for the positive impact others could see in their lives and it allowed me to see it as well. God is so gracious in that way. He is constantly pointing out how he is using our circumstances for good. I’m thankful also that God has given me beautiful woman who speak truth into my life, who sit with me in the hard, who cry with me, laugh with me, push me to do hard things, let me feel all the feels but don’t allow me to sit in it. They are a treasure.
