Hello sweet friends,
I grieve not being able to write on this blog as often as I wish. It’s not due from a lack of words that’s for sure. Unfortunately it’s because it takes a toll on my body and causes more pain than I would like to admit. The pain is from my weak fingers, hands, and neck muscles that it takes to type on my computer or phone. Because of my weak vocal muscles the speech to text isn’t an option either. Don’t worry if you know me well, then you know I will find a way. We have ordered a tray for my chair that we are hoping will help alleviate some of the neck pain and I have had some dear souls offer to be my scribes. I share all of this to give you a peak into my world and the effort it takes to share my words with you. I continue to work on my book with an incredible team who is super patient with me. I’m trusting that God will speak through me his words that he wants to put out into this world. I’m also trusting in his timing for this.
While on a walk recently, I was approached by a man who asked if he could pray for me. It caught me off guard as I was enjoying a lovely stroll with my guy. The man was kind and respectful enough to ask if he could lay hands on me. This isn’t the first time I have been approached like this. When this happens the prayers are usually a desperate plea for healing. The person is very grieved for me and I find myself trying to comfort them. A hero in the faith Joni Earekson Tada has taught me how to respond in these situations and I’m so grateful for her advice. Joni has spent most of her life in a wheel chair due to a diving accident that has left her paralyzed. She has an incredible understanding of the theology of suffering and makes me want to grow deeper in my understanding of Christ and the power of the Gospel.
She has taught me to always welcome prayer but to be bold enough to ask the person to not just pray for my physical healing but most importantly to pray for my spiritual healing. I appreciate this advice because like Joni I want the person to know that my hope is not in living a life of comfort and ease. My hope is found in Christ and the hope of eternity with him. The hope that this is just a speck of time compared to eternity with no pain and suffering. What I need most is prayer to grow in hating my sin and to foster a deeper love for my savior. God can absolutely heal and when he chooses to he does so to show his glory. however the main goal in his healings are not to make us or others comfortable. His ultimate plan is to rescue us from sin. I think we forget verses like 2 Corinthians 4 that remind us that our outer bodies are wasting away. Even if I received that physical healing it’s just temporary. my body will eventually fail and I’m going to die. I want to put my hope in something that will last. Don’t you? Having this disability is hard and I grieve many things but I have also gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. Dependence on Christ, Recognition and repentance of sin, increased grace and compassion, a longing for heaven, a front row seat to generosity, a desperate need for his word, and lots of time to sit and be with Jesus. These are just a few of the things I have gained.
It’s not wrong to ask for physical healing. God uses those healings. We should however be more concerned with the healing of our spiritual hearts. Praying that God would get rid of the darkness in us and make us more like him.
Joni has taught me that Gods aim is not to make us healthy but to make us holy- and that it always begins with leaving sin behind and drawing closer to Christ. I have grown to realize this is far better than regaining the use of my lost muscles.
