I have been up to my eye balls these days planning school for all three of my blessings. It's been quite the feat. I will have one going into fifth, one going into second, and one doing a slow start Kinder. It will be a fun but challenging year. I realized last night that we could possibly go through three surgeries in the midst of this crazy school year. A little bit of panic set in and then today the Lord reminded me that he has never left me. He has safe guarded Noah's heart this far and I can trust in his perfect timing. I have a choice. I can stay in my worry state which the Lord says in Luke 12:25 will not add any hours to my life or I can choose to trust in his perfect plan. I'm gonna choose to trust and not worry. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not about my way and the way I think things should go. The Lord has this all worked out and if I get caught up in worry I will get distracted and miss what great things God does along the way.
How long has Noah been waiting for a heart?
On Monday it will be 11 months that Noah has been waiting for his perfect healthy heart.
Many of you have asked us if he is number one on the list.
We really have no idea of knowing this. Things change all the time and people are constantly being added to the list and moving around depending on there condition. What we do know is that since January Noah has been in the top five for several hearts that became available. In may he was the number two candidate for a specific heart meaning that if the number one was unable to accept the heart it would have gone to Noah. It has been difficult at times to wait knowing that our sons current heart is sick and can give out at any moment. However we know that things could be so much worse, we know that there are harder days ahead and we are thankful for this time we have with him and do not take any moment for granted.
I get the statement "I don't understand why this is happening to you guys, it just is so much". Here is my response to this. It's really not about us it's about Him. I think we all go through trials and I believe God uses those trials to bring about his glory. We all walk through trials it just looks differently for every person. Through these trials we also if we are able to look up will see God's handiwork and the blessings that abound. I have been given many blessings in my life from the Lord. I have a beautiful marriage, beautiful children, wonderful friendships and family, great church family, a home, a job for my husband and the list goes on. I consider myself spoiled. We truly don't deserve anything but God's wrath and yet he gives us so many blessings. We have never felt angry at God for going through these difficulties. It is hard don't get me wrong but God brings beauty out of ashes and I know he will through all of this.
"How is Noah doing"?
Physically we have seen Noah's energy decline little by little. He gets more tired than normal at times but still lives life normally. We had a scare last month when Noah was so tired he did not want to get up from the couch for hours. His last EKG they told us looked worse. They are monitoring him more closely. His attitude is still the same. He still is not scared and is ready more than ever to get it over with. He trusts in the Lord and understands that his heart could give out at any moment. He is super brave and inspires me all the time.
We have appreciated all of your questions and would love to answer others you may have. Feel free to add any more you might have in the comment section.
Please continue to pray for our family as we enter this next school year with lots of unknowns. Pray that we would be content in knowing that our Lord knows and is working all things together for good. Your support has meant so much to us. It's been a long road and we are thankful to have you all walking with us.