Trying yet again to surrender it all

Being satisfied in God (or anything) always seems easier when all is going well. But when things you love are being stripped out of your hands, then the test is real. If God remains precious in those moments, then his supreme worth shines more brightly. He is most glorified. -John Piper

For those of you who have been following my blog for sometime know what a big John Piper fan I am.  He has been a huge encouragement to me in some of my darkest moments.  He constantly reminds me that it’s not about me, he reminds me that God is not wasting any of my suffering, and he reminds me that God loves to bless his children.  Oh how I need those truths repeated to me over and over and over again.  Why do I need to hear them again and again?  Because we forget.  We retreat inward and we allow ourselves to focus on our circumstances.  we focus on what they are doing to us instead of focusing on what HE is doing through us.  I once again have to make the choice of letting go of control, and fear, and doubt and surrendering it all to the Lord.  It’s not easy but I know the peace and joy that comes when we are fully able to rest in him.  I need your prayers that I will once again be able to do this.

This Thursday I will once again go in for surgery.  My heart is getting weaker and the doctors feel like the best plan is to put in a subcutaneous Defibrillator.  So that is the plan.  Our biggest prayer is for a successful surgery with no unexpected surprises.  My heart went through some stress after my last surgery and we are praying that the Lord would protect my heart.  Would you all say a prayer for Jason as he watches his wife once again get wheeled away for surgery.  pray that the Lord would meet him in the sweetest ways.  Pray for our kids that they wouldn’t feel anxious but would rest in knowing that the Lord is watching over their mom.  I’m filled up knowing that in the days leading up to surgery when I’m feeling depleted you all are lifting us up. Thank you for that.  You all don’t know what a gift that really is.

Another bump in the road

Thank you so much for all your encouraging words regarding our videos.  It was fun to get the kids involved and give you guys more insight into my surgery and also how Noah is currently doing. 

 I’m writing to ask for your prayers once again. We were feeling hopeful after my surgery with how well the feedings were going and the increased energy. It was so nice.  We unfortunately have come to another bump in the road and its pretty big.  After my surgery while I was in the recovery room I started having pretty intense chest pains.  The doctors were concerned and ran some tests.  The tests showed that my troponin levels were elevated. A Troponin test measures the levels of troponin proteins in the blood.  These proteins are released when the heart muscle has been damaged, such as occurs with a heart attack.  The more damage to the heart, the greater the amount of troponin in the blood.  A normal level is .10 0r lower and mine was .395. They ran several tests to check for blocked arteries etc. and determined that I most likely had inflammation around the lining of my heart.  I was to follow up with my cardiologist.  On March 30th I had a black out episode that lasted for a few seconds and took me by surprise.  I saw the doctor a few days later and he was able to pull up my pacemaker recording that told him on that day I had a Ventricular Tachycardia episode that lasted 11 seconds with my heart rate in the 200’s.  This could have led to me going into cardiac arrest if it was a longer episode.  Because of these incidents the doctors want to put in a cardiac defibrillator.  This is where things get tricky.  I have a pacemaker and four lead wires in my heart.  My arteries can not fit any more wires on that side.  Lead wires have an average life span of 12-15 years.  I have had mine for 12.  They might have to consider lead extraction surgery but it is high risk. My muscular Dystrophy is high risk just going under anesthesia.  There is a team of 4 doctors all consulting one another on the best approach and we will talk about the best plan this Wednesday. Surgery will most likely take place at the end of the month.  This has felt intense and emotionally depleting.  It didn’t help that a few days ago I had another bad fall either. Yep! Scraped up my elbow, bruised my knees, my ego lol., and have felt the aftermath in my whole body.  I seriously have considered buying and wearing a rubber suit.  Too many hard falls. It stinks. But you gotta get up, dust yourself off, and keep pushing through.  It also feels good to let out a scream, put on some good music, and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.  

We all have a story. The one God writes for each of us may go down many paths. No matter where you are on the journey, there is a plan and a purpose to what you experience. If you are struggling, take comfort in knowing you are not alone.  It is hard enough to walk through pain and suffering but if you don’t have Christ none of it will make sense.  I urge you to put your faith and trust in christ if you haven’t already.  Only he can give you purpose, only he can help you make sense of it all. The greatest truth that you can ever hear is that Jesus Christ died but rose again, and that you, too, will die but can rise again into newness of life.

Please pray for us friends. Pray for all the doctors involved, Pray I would not have any more episodes and that God would protect my heart. Pray for Jason and our family that we would lean in to God as we walk through another bump in the road. I know God is not surprised by any of this and that is where I draw my comfort.  We will keep pressing on, we will hold fast to his promises, and we will bless his name in the process.  

Blog Update With Noah

I had some fun doing an interview with Noah.  Lets just say we are both not as natural or as comfortable as Jonah. There were many edits but we managed to pull it off.  We hope you enjoy the update.  Jonah is begging me to do another video with him so comment below what you would like us to talk about.  We would love to include your questions.  As always thanks for following us on this journey.

https://youtu.be/Egqv1p43Vmw