Last month I had the privilege of being apart of a panel at a woman’s conference, and also had the opportunity a week later to share at a woman’s study. The first Conference was on Counting it all joy, and the second was on handling life when your dreams are shattered. I was so very grateful for the opportunity to share at both these venues. It always gives me the opportunity to recount the ways Christ has been so faithful in my journey. It encourages me to take a look back and to see that yes my body is so much weaker today but the spiritual growth is so much more vibrant and thriving. It encourages me to keep pressing on and to keep leaning in to the one that holds me in the palm of his hand.
There are several new readers and so I thought I would recap my story and answer some of the wonderful questions I had received at both of the venues I was apart of.
To start, I’m Melody I have been married for 18 years to my wonderful husband Jason, We have been blessed with three children. Our oldest boy Noah is 15, our youngest son Jonah is 12 , and our beautiful daughter Hannah is 9. I will try to give you a brief background. Their is so much to tell but I promise to make it brief. Here is my background story. I grew up with a single mom who was an alcoholic drug addict until I brought her to the Lord at the age of 14. It was an incredible story of God’s redeeming power. When I was nineteen I had a pacemaker surgery for complete heart block. I was told if I had gone much longer without the pacemaker I would never have survived. I got married to my best friend at the age of 22. We had two boys and at the age of 31 I had suffered a miscarriage which ultimately led to our desire to adopt. In 2010 We brought home our precious daughter from China. Three days after being home with her the doctors told us to prepare ourselves that she wasn’t going to make it. She had a very complicated heart condition and they gave us a 30 percent chance of survival. God chose to breathe life into her frail body and after two open heart surgeries she is thriving. A year later I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy(Desmin Myofibrillar) and was told all the muscles in my body would slowly begin to atrophy and that there was no cure. A year after adjusting to that news our oldest son was diagnosed with Restrictive Cardiomyopathy and put on the transplant list. He has been stable enough to come off the list but his heart is still very much sick. At the end of the same year we learned that not only did our son have this awful heart condition, but he also shared the same rare form of Muscular dystrophy as I. We are slowly starting to see some of his muscles begin to deteriorate. Last year I had a total of five surgeries, four of those in 10 weeks. This is just a snippet of our story. Woven through are incredible opportunities of seeing God at work, incredible answers to prayer, and a deepen faith.
Question 1. What lies were you tempted to believe during particular trials? How did God meet you in that to give you hope?
One of the biggest lies for me was that I felt like I couldn’t really be purposeful for the Lord. I never realized how much of a works based mentality I had inside. I had these big dreams of adopting again. I enjoyed being involved in so many capacities at church. I was the type of person who was always serving and running to the next need. Now that I wasn’t able to(the way I had desired anyway) I felt like I was un purposeful. The Lord has slowly showed me how ridiculous that is. He has shown me that really all I have to do is be still and allow him to work through me. He really doesn’t need me to do anything at all except trust in his goodness. The book of Luke is a good example of this When Jesus visits Mary and Martha and he is more pleased with Mary who sits at his feet than Martha who is distracted trying to do everything.
The other lie was feeling like a burden to everyone. I still struggle with this. I often forget how much joy it brought me to be able to love and care for my friends and family. Its hard to be weak and frail and have to ask and require so much help. It’s good for others to be given the opportunity and to be the church to one another.
2.) John Piper talks about fighting for joy in our Christian lives. He says that you cannot just flip a switch and "have joy". God has to give the joy and our job is to fight for it and to put ourselves in position to receive it. Do you think this is true when facing trials? What ways do you fight for joy or put yourself in a position to receive joy during a trial?
Yes I agree 100% I think one of the ways to do this is to re orient our focus. It’s super hard to get our eyes off of our circumstances. For many of us you just cant escape the hardship, its in your face constantly. In the morning I have to make a choice to get up and focus on the promises of God, my future hope, and the things I’m thankful for or I will be a mess. I know this because many days I’am a mess. It’s a fight and a daily surrender. Look what Paul said about his trials in 2 Corinthians 6:10. He says: “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing, poor yet making many rich, having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” Paul said he was at the same time “Sorrowful” and yet still “rejoicing”. To have joy in trials is not to deny pain. It is to recognize the fact that they can exist together. they can co-exist in the same way that an expectant mother can go through labor and birth and still have joy in thinking about what is to come. she has joy because she has the right focus as she considers this new baby that will be birthed into the new world. In the same way, believers must have the right focus in order to have joy in their ongoing trials.
What did suffering teach you about God? What do you know to be more true about God now that you wouldn't have known otherwise?
It taught me that God’s not doing this to me but For me. It’s so that the works of God can be displayed. Let's face it, it's a struggle to believe God is for us when we're drowning in pain. Even Jesus felt abandoned in the midst of His suffering, saying, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) The refrains of God being a good God can sound hollow when our hearts and lives are broken.
It's true that suffering that's not transformed by God is destructive. It leads us away from Him and into despair. But if we'll go to God with our pain, not only will He comfort us, He can work miracles with it. He can transform our greatest pain into our most significant triumph.
Paul is a great example of how God redeems suffering. Paul experienced never ending hardships and persecution (2 Corinthians 11:22-33). But, his suffering produced an internal and eternal growth. It allowed him to experience God’s power in ways he couldn't otherwise, it gave him a deeper compassion for others, and it allowed him to be part of God’s work on earth.
Understanding that suffering has a purpose doesn't always help us persevere through it. Thankfully, Jesus showed us what to do. Jesus overcame His suffering, so we can overcome ours. As we keep our focus on Jesus, He comforts us through our suffering, allows us to experience His presence in ways we otherwise wouldn’t, and uses it for good in ways we can’t imagine.
I hope to answer more in a future blog post. For those that are old and new to this blog thanks for visiting, I hope you leave feeling encouraged. I’m so thankful and overwhelmed by your love and support.
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