Noah’s Heart Transplant Story Part 2

After getting the update that the transplant was successful and Noah was in recovery, my sweet friend Amanda drove me to the hospital where Jason and her husband were waiting in the waiting room.  We were waiting to hear when Jason and I could see Noah and were told it might be awhile.  My body started physically responding to the stress of the last thirty hours.  I was having heart burn, indigestion,  I was light headed, and every muscle in my entire body was hurting.  I was frustrated because I didn’t want to feel this way when I got to see my boy. I wanted to be strong. In my mind I felt relief that he was through the worst part of it all but my body was not reacting accordingly.  When we finally got to see him in the ICU he was intubated with his eyes half open and I thought I was going to pass out. Intubated means he had a tube down his throat that was doing the breathing for him. The room was crowded with nurses and doctors coming in every few seconds.  I was in my pink power chair trying to stay out of their way, trying not to hit anything, and desperately trying to listen to their explanations of what they were doing for him.  They all seemed pleased and excited for us. I wanted to share in their excitement but I felt like I was going to pass out and the mask around my face was not helping matters.  I was beginning to have a full blown anxiety attack. The doctors told us he would most likely be sedated the rest of he day and that we were welcome to come back and forth as much as we would like. The transplant doctor told me to try and get some rest.  Thanks doc I’m trying really I’am. I wanted to ask her if she ever had a Childs heart taken out but alas I knew she meant well and was just looking out for us so I politely refrained. We left the room to let the doctors do their job and we went to the outside patio to get some much needed air.  My feet began to swell and I was growing concerned with how my body was reacting to the stress.  Since my heart doctor was right there at UCLA, Amanda and I decided to drop in and see if he would see me.  He was well aware that Noah had just had his transplant surgery and agreed to squeeze me in .  This was God’s grace to me.  I felt a sense of relief after he had checked all my vitals, reassured me that my heart was fine and validated that this was a stressful situation.  Since Noah was going to be sedated most of the day we decided to check into the UCLA Tiverton house down the road.  This place was a short walk from UCLA and is similar to a Ronald McDonald house for families of UCLA patients.  It was nice to have a place to rest close by the hospital.  The ICU nurses had us write our phone numbers on the big white board in Noah’s room.  They assured us that they would inform us if any changes arose.  This brought me comfort and allowed me to get the rest my body needed knowing he was in good hands.  Jason went later that night to see Noah. Noah was still on the ventilator but was starting to breathe more on his own. He was a little alert and understood what was going on and could communicate by writing. The nurses had the tough job of trying to read his writing.  He likes to blame that on his homeschool English teacher( AKA mom.) I had never been more thankful for technology when  I got to face time him.  I have to admit I almost lost it when he gave me a thumbs up.  I needed that more than he will ever know.

This day was hard for me.  I was feeling every emotion deeply.  Not only was I trying to come to grips with the fact that my son no longer had his original heart but I was feeling for the family who selflessly gave him his new heart.  This heart that once gave life to somebody else. My heart grieved for this family.  It’s a huge gift and  responsibility and one that Noah will process for awhile to come. I was feeling for Noah and all the changes good and bad that come with a transplant.  I was feeling for my husband and all that was on his shoulders and, of coarse my other two kids who were also processing it all in their own ways.  What brought me the most peace was knowing that none of this was a surprise to God.  He knew the exact date and moment in time, he knew the donor, he holds my husband and kids in the palm of his hand, and when we cry out to him he delivers us from our distress.  God’s grace to me was also answering a specific prayer I had over the last ten years.  I asked God to protect Noah’s heart so that we wouldn’t be in a emergency situation.  A situation where he was in the hospital on borrowed time waiting for a heart. Thank you Lord for your sweet mercy and for hearing our cries.