Today marks four months that Noah has been on the list for a new heart. It has been a hard four months as we wait for a tragedy to occur so our child can have a heart thats not sick. That honestly is the worst part. It just breaks my heart that a parent is going to be in a position where she will be asked to make a decision to give the hugest gift to another person. These days we live minute by minute making sure our phones are charged and we are prepared to leave in a flash. Honestly though I doubt we will ever be prepared. Last night we took the boys to see the "How To Train Your Dragon" live arena show. Sitting in the show of this crowded arena I thought to myself, we could get the call right now and these sweet boys who are smiling and having a blast would have to be hauled away to the hospital. Luckily that was not the case but I wonder every day what we will be doing when we finally do get the call. I don't always stress about it but it certainly never leaves our minds. The only thing that gets me through these awful moments of thinking about this is knowing that my heavenly father has it all planned out already and he works all things for good. When I'm feeling super overwhelmed by it I cling to his word. We just have to trust in his perfect plan no matter the outcome. I'm trying hard to "Surrender". I struggle with the wanting to know and wanting to have a plan. That is why I chose Surrender for my word this year because I believe God is stretching me to surrender to his way and his plan.
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