Some days are hard

I have had the desire to post many times but have lacked the energy.  It seems that we are in a holding pattern these days.  We are waiting for "the call", waiting for a diagnosis with me (still), and waiting until Hannah's next surgery.  Waiting can be hard I for one have never been good at it.  I remember when I was young unwrapping my Christmas presents and then taping them back together.  Don't tell my kids :) This is certainly not as fun as that thats for sure :)  I'm usually more positive on this blog but I also like to be real.  The truth is I'm struggling with waiting.  My legs have gotten weaker and it has caused more frustration in me.  I can't walk very far without being in pain and my legs tiring out.  It reminds me how frail I'm getting and it is just plain frustrating.  It's hard enough trying to take care of three kids not to mention  two with special needs and homeschool and be a good wife.  My mind wants to do it and my body says no you can't.  This year my kids have seen me fall a dozen times, use a wheel chair and lay in bed with heat bags.  I know things could be worse and I know this is so the works of God can be displayed but it still SUCKS sometimes and I think it's okay to admit it as long as we don't stay in it.  I'm longing for the day when there is no more pain. God is always faithful to bring me out of this and I know he will bring back the joy. His mercies are new every morning.  For now would you please wrap our family in prayer.

I will be making an Apt. at UCLA for myself to find out what the next steps are in finding me a diagnosis.  We are also working on finding a good Neurologist closer that could help when needs arise. Pray that I would find joy in the difficult days.

Pray for Noah that God would protect his heart until he gets his new one.  That he would remain healthy and positive and lean on the Lord.

Jason as he cares for us all.

Hannah that she would remain stable and not have to have her next surgery until we get done with Noah's.

Jonah that he would not be scared for his family members and that he would cling to you in the midst of all that is going on.  That he would feel just as loved and important.

We are so thankful for all of your love and support .