I again can not express enough how much your comments and support have lifted me up. These past two weeks have been rough and busy. In the midst of some overwhelming news about my disease I was matron of honor in a dear sisters wedding.
It was emotional as she closed one chapter and began a new one. My dear friend is a mother of five who lost her husband a year ago to Luekemia. During my sweet friends vows she told her new husband that he was not her plan B. Oh how I loved that. God is sovereign over all things and my dear friend knows this well. She knows that this was always God's plan. Knowing God is working out his plan through this awful disease is the only thing that helps me walk through it. This latest step in the process of my MD has brought on a lot of fear. Hearing doctors say things like ventilators and breathing machines causes me to tremble. I hate that I allow the unknown to rob my joy and stricken me with unnecessary fear. I HATE that!! I don't want to waste a second on this disease. I want to use every ounce of it for God's Glory. I follow a blog of this amazing gal Kara Tippet who is suffering from stage 4 brain cancer and is on hospice. She is the Author of the incredible book I have talked about before called " The Hardest Peace". If you have not read this book I highly recommend it. Kara is not wasting one second of her disease. She doesn't enjoy the pain and wants as much time with her kids that God would allow but she suffers well. She inspires me to not take anything for granted and to not waste this disease but to live my life for the Lord. My desire is to suffer well like Kara. My desire is to make Jesus known in all he has me do. Please pray that I would not let fear overtake me. Pray that God would be glorified through all of my suffering.