Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Yesterday I finally received the results of the Genetic testing for the Myatonic Dystrophy 2. The Doctor told me over the phone that the results were Normal. Normal meaning I did not test positive for that disease. You would assume that I would have been overjoyed at this news. In all reality I didn't know how to feel. Two doctors were with out a doubt 100% sure that I had this. I had accepted that this was going to be a part of my new life and had began to prepare as best as I could mentally for what lies ahead. Now What? Instead of the doctor saying "wow we were wrong, I don't know where to go from here". The doctor continues to say "well I still think it is that disease but we want to get a third opinion to see what this doctor thinks it might be. In other words they have no clue. They recognize that I have a lot of muscle weakness and muscle wasting but have no clue what disease this is. It could be any number of the dystrophies or a very rare case. Our next step is to see the third Neurologist and to also ask to be referred to a mayo clinic. Yesterday was a hard day as I processed the thought of more tests and more diagnoses that could be worse or could be better. Difficult in realizing I don't have control on whether we even get answers and so on. I completely lost all hope and completely forgot that time and time again my wonderful heavenly father has taken care of me and performed miracle after miracle in my life. I have really been at one of my lowest points these last few months. I have longed for the Lords joy and peace to fill my soul. I woke up today finally in a much better place. I woke up today thankful for another day to have energy to be a mom and a wife and a friend and a servant. Thankful that the Lord is carrying me through even when the lenses are foggy and I don't see him or feel him at times he is there. Nothing else matters and no test results are going to change that. The days aren't always easy and the road is long and tough but I know he is carrying me and he is worth the fight. I pray that he would use this trial for his glory and that I would choose to look for him in the midst of it. Thank you in advance for your prayers.