Saturday, April 14, 2012
I can still remember every sound, and every sight on that early morning two years ago. Jason had called from the hospital at 4 in the morning. He made me go home to sleep with the boys because I hadn't gotten any sleep for days. I did not want to leave Hannah but she was sedated from a procedure the following day and would most likely sleep through the night. Jasons voice quivered on the phone and he just kept telling me she's not gonna make it. They are working on her but she's not gonna make it. My heart sank. I quickly called both my mom and donna to get me to the hospital. I remember my father in law holding my hand and looking out the window and praying. Everything was so quiet and still and it seemed like the longest car ride I had ever taken. when I got to her room there were lots of people in the room working on her. I went to her and started kissing her and talking to her. The doctor told me to get closer and to not get emotional. I remember I was so mad at him. The doctor them began to tell us that she was going down hill fast and that she most likely had a 30% chance of survival. A number I will never ever forget or that we had the option to keep her comfortable and she would eventually go. If we opted for surgery she would most likely have brain damage and not live a normal life. I remember asking everyone to leave the room except for Dr. Chang. It's amazing how brave you get when you are in a situation like this. My mama bear claws were out in full force. I looked at Dr. Chang and told him "You do whatever you need to do to save our baby girls life." He said okay and they were off and running. I will never forget before they took her to surgery. I was stroking her head telling her not to give up that she was a fighter. I told her that she had a story to tell and to make these doctors scratch there heads. At that moment she opened her eyes for a brief second and we were stunned. Itwas just what this momma needed. I just believed with all my heart that this was not the end for our little girl. After that I remember trying to eat something and getting a precious moment alone with my husband in a hallway. I hugged Jason tight telling him if we were only to lover her for these brief two weeks then thats what God had planned and I wouldn't take back one moment of it. The waiting seemed like an eternity. The doctor came out so somber faced we thought she was gone. He was stunned and couldn't give an explanation for how her arteries opened up overnight and how they were able to do some unplanned repairs. He said there is no text book explanation for this we don't know how it happened. Oh but we do :) We know exactly how it happened. So much more I remember about that day I could go on and on. The Lord did an amazing miraculous thing two years ago. He is such a big God and we are so thankful for the ways he continues to bless Hannah's little life. This morning we were snuggling with our little one telling her all about that day. I want her to know how the lord values her and I love that when she points to her scars and I ask her what it's from she sweetly sais "Jesus fixed my heart". He sure did baby girl he sure did.