Yearning for Heaven

This weekend I had the chance to get away with 120 woman at our Church's woman's retreat. It was a wonderful time. I had a difficult time at the beginning dealing with all the emotions I was feeling with everything that has gone on recently. I discovered that I had been racing from one thing to the next and really haven't taken everything in. The more people talked with me, asked details, and prayed the more emotional and heavy hearted I felt. By Sat afternoon I was ready to just hide in my hotel room and escape. Our speakers spoke on Friendship and I just really felt like I was lacking big time in this area, I haven't been able to be there for my friends like I want to and also feeling like I was gonna be a burden to my friends and eventually suck them dry. I decided to go to the night session and was so glad I did. I felt God wrap his arms around me and he reminded me that this is where he has me and I need to allow people to link arms with me and be my strength in a time when I feel at my weakest. This is a area I need to grow in which is why he probably has me in this place :) I ended the retreat feeling refreshed until............

When I got home there was a message from our doctors office saying that we did not get the approval to have Noah's procedure done on the 28th. UGGGHHH!!!! We had fought our insurance as well as St. Joseph's medical group to allow us to switch Noah from Regal(his old group) to St. Josephs(where the amazing Dr. Chang is at) Our insurance told us that they could not switch unless St. Joseph's gave the ok. St. Josephs would not give the ok because it was past open enrollment. We pleaded with our insurance and they finally made an exception because Hannah is already in there group. Our insurance issued our new cards and we have had several visits in the new group all month. All of a sudden when they requested the approval of this procedure St. Joseph's steps in and sais NO and is stating that they are not accepting us into the group and is in fact fighting our insurance. WHATTT??? This is crazy! Why does this have to be so difficult and why are we getting hit with so many hard things? I know these posts are usually more encouraging but this news has just hit me so hard and I'm struggling. I covet your prayers more than ever. I'm feeling weary and am struggling with what to do to ensure we get Noah the care he needs. This may mean prolonged procedures and more added doctor appointments. It may mean starting all over with new doctors which we dread. We are confident he is working it all out but when you are hit with scary news about your children, food poisoning, tax stuff, jury duty, rescheduling work travel, and so much more it gets so hard to bare sometimes.